Having Confidence
[by Paula Lerner]
There’s a story I sometimes tell about myself when I speak to student groups. Many years ago at the beginning of my career, my husband walked into the room we then shared as an office to find me under my desk. Surprised and bemused, he asked “What are you doing under there??”
I had been attempting to make cold calls to clients, and had gotten cold feet. Rather than face the prospect of talking to people and trying to sell myself to them, I indulged an urge to curl up in a ball and hide under my desk. Eventually I came out, plucked up my courage and started to make calls. When I trusted myself to speak in an articulate manner, I was fine and the people on the other end of the phone were interested in pursuing a business relationship. The point is that in order to convince others that you’re worth their attention and the money you’re asking for your services, you first must convince yourself that you’re worth it. You will never convince someone else if you don’t believe it yourself, as they will pick up on your cues. It took time, patience and courage to get the rough spots of my presentation worked out, and I made plenty of mistakes along the way. But in the end I learned from my mistakes. In the end, I was fine because I managed to trust myself, and that trust came through to others.
For what its worth, I have an undergraduate degree in philosophy from a famous ivy league institution (Harvard). Many of the very smart people with whom I went to college were very insecure under the surface (in some cases, extremely so). Some of the most famous, well-respected people I know still get butterflies in their stomachs before they have to present themselves, their work and their ideas to others. Take heart in this, and know that you’re not the only one. The longer you do it, the easier it becomes, even though many of us never get over it completely. Take a deep breath, steady your voice and remember that whoever it is you’re talking with is human too. After its all over you can go collapse in the corner somewhere…. 
2 Responses to 'Having Confidence'
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Hmm. How very true. I used to be terribly shy. I eventually learned to pluck up the courage to present technical papers on geophysics topics to rooms full of geophysicists (many much smarter than me). I got to the point where I won some awards for my presentations.
I still get nervous and cold feet when I have to cold call somebody for business reasons or meet strangers. I will never get over having those feelings, but I know from experience that I can overcome them and have some success. It just won’t happen if I don’t DO IT. Thanks for the reminder of a lesson I had forgotten.
dear Paula — boy oh boy does this resonate with me!! Still today… trusting myself is the hardest. You’re an inspiration as always — thanks for sharing this with us! love & peace – Claire